For a long time, I believed there was a right way to build a business. That if I wasn’t hustling hard enough, waking up at 5 a.m., and sacrificing my weekends, I must not want it bad enough.
I looked around at the women I admired—those running multi-million-dollar brands, scaling fast, and grinding 24/7—and thought… maybe I’m doing it wrong.
But the more I tried to force myself into those timelines, systems, and ways of working, the less I liked my business. (I’m not exaggerating… I literally got a whole as* 9 to 5 because of how out-of-love I fell with it.)
And, if I’m being honest, the less I liked my life.
Building a life and business you’re obsessed requires you to let go of the things that keep you stuck in other people’s playbooks, constantly comparing yourself, and disconnecting from your own version of success.
If there’s one thing that exhausted me in the online business world, it was people shouting that you have to do XYZ to succeed. Post this many times, launch this way, follow this formula.
The truth is, for every rule someone shows you as “proof” their way works, I can show you ten people quietly doing it a different way—and winning.
I had to let go of the belief that there’s a one-size-fits-all strategy for success.
Most of the time, the people selling these formulas are doing exactly that: selling. Instead, I started building my business on my terms, in my season, and at my pace. And that changed everything.
This is still a work in progress, but I’ve noticed the pattern. On the days I feel the least obsessed with my life, it’s rarely because my life suddenly sucks.
It’s because I’m in comparison mode, deep in doom-scrolling, and disconnecting from the actual work, joy, and creativity that fuels me.
When I close the apps and get back into my own life and business, everything feels lighter.
It’s not about being perfect with my screen time (because it’s a journey ofc) but I know I feel better when I’m present with my own path instead of watching everyone else’s highlight reel.
Early in my business, I wanted everyone’s opinion on every move I made. But, truthfully, that noise only made me second-guess myself more. I had to learn that I know what’s best for my business.
Aunt Jill doesn’t need to weigh in, nor does every friend or follower. Protecting my peace and trusting my gut became non-negotiable.
I realized I don’t need to share every step of my process or ask for endless feedback. I can work in silence, share when I’m ready, and lean on a coach or community that actually gets it—but not everyone needs a seat at the table.
I’ll admit it: I used to want the next big thing before I even appreciated what I had. It’s like wanting a Lambo when you don’t even take care of your Honda Civic. Or keeping your 1-bedroom apartment messy before you own your dream home.
I was guilty of always chasing the next level without nurturing what was already working.
When I shifted to taking precious care of my clients, my content, and my community, the entire journey started to feel more fulfilling.
I also learned that a key to happiness (and yes, even manifesting) is to appreciate where you are. When you stop taking your current reality for granted, you naturally feel more obsessed with the life you’re building.
For the longest time, I thought I had to pick one lane: either the business or the life, the ambition or the ease, the weekends off or the income.
I let go of the belief that I had to choose. I’ve caught myself comparing my pace to women I admire like Emma Grede and Grace Beverley—wondering if I’m doing enough because I’m not grinding 24/7 the way they do.
But the truth is, that’s their version of success. It doesn’t have to be mine. I get to have the alignment, the boundaries, and the life that feels good to me—not anyone else.
If that means scaling slower, working softer, and shutting my laptop at 5 p.m.? That’s still success.
I’m a dreamer at heart. I always have more ideas on deck, and I used to drive myself mentally into the ground by never letting myself feel like I’d done enough.
The to-do list is never finished when you’re running a business. There will always be more you could do. But as the CEO of my business, I realized I have to be a good boss to myself.
That means deciding what I did today is enough. It means logging off and letting myself have a life outside of the business.
Because if you’re always chasing more, you’ll never feel like you’re enough—or that your life is enough. (Do you need to read that again?)
Building a life and business you’re obsessed with isn’t about crossing some perfect finish line. It’s about how you show up while you’re building it.
It’s about letting yourself enjoy the process, take care of what you have, and release the need to constantly prove yourself through overworking. It’s about trusting that your version of success is valid, even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.
The most radical thing you can do is build a business and life on your terms. And let that be enough.
I looked around at the women I admired—those running multi-million-dollar brands, scaling fast, and grinding 24/7—and thought… maybe I’m doing it wrong.
But the more I tried to force myself into those timelines, systems, and ways of working, the less I liked my business. (I’m not exaggerating… I literally got a whole as* 9 to 5 because of how out-of-love I fell with it.)
And, if I’m being honest, the less I liked my life.
Building a life and business you’re obsessed requires you to let go of the things that keep you stuck in other people’s playbooks, constantly comparing yourself, and disconnecting from your own version of success.
Here’s what I had to let go of to finally build both the life and the business I actually love showing up for:
1. The Idea There’s One Way to Do It
If there’s one thing that exhausted me in the online business world, it was people shouting that you have to do XYZ to succeed. Post this many times, launch this way, follow this formula.
The truth is, for every rule someone shows you as “proof” their way works, I can show you ten people quietly doing it a different way—and winning.
I had to let go of the belief that there’s a one-size-fits-all strategy for success.
Most of the time, the people selling these formulas are doing exactly that: selling. Instead, I started building my business on my terms, in my season, and at my pace. And that changed everything.
2. The Scrolling and High Screen Time
This is still a work in progress, but I’ve noticed the pattern. On the days I feel the least obsessed with my life, it’s rarely because my life suddenly sucks.
It’s because I’m in comparison mode, deep in doom-scrolling, and disconnecting from the actual work, joy, and creativity that fuels me.
When I close the apps and get back into my own life and business, everything feels lighter.
It’s not about being perfect with my screen time (because it’s a journey ofc) but I know I feel better when I’m present with my own path instead of watching everyone else’s highlight reel.
3. Asking Everyone About Everything
Early in my business, I wanted everyone’s opinion on every move I made. But, truthfully, that noise only made me second-guess myself more. I had to learn that I know what’s best for my business.
Aunt Jill doesn’t need to weigh in, nor does every friend or follower. Protecting my peace and trusting my gut became non-negotiable.
I realized I don’t need to share every step of my process or ask for endless feedback. I can work in silence, share when I’m ready, and lean on a coach or community that actually gets it—but not everyone needs a seat at the table.
4. Not Taking Care of What I Have
I’ll admit it: I used to want the next big thing before I even appreciated what I had. It’s like wanting a Lambo when you don’t even take care of your Honda Civic. Or keeping your 1-bedroom apartment messy before you own your dream home.
I was guilty of always chasing the next level without nurturing what was already working.
When I shifted to taking precious care of my clients, my content, and my community, the entire journey started to feel more fulfilling.
I also learned that a key to happiness (and yes, even manifesting) is to appreciate where you are. When you stop taking your current reality for granted, you naturally feel more obsessed with the life you’re building.
5. The Guilt for Wanting Both
For the longest time, I thought I had to pick one lane: either the business or the life, the ambition or the ease, the weekends off or the income.
I let go of the belief that I had to choose. I’ve caught myself comparing my pace to women I admire like Emma Grede and Grace Beverley—wondering if I’m doing enough because I’m not grinding 24/7 the way they do.
But the truth is, that’s their version of success. It doesn’t have to be mine. I get to have the alignment, the boundaries, and the life that feels good to me—not anyone else.
If that means scaling slower, working softer, and shutting my laptop at 5 p.m.? That’s still success.
6. Never Letting It Be Enough
I’m a dreamer at heart. I always have more ideas on deck, and I used to drive myself mentally into the ground by never letting myself feel like I’d done enough.
The to-do list is never finished when you’re running a business. There will always be more you could do. But as the CEO of my business, I realized I have to be a good boss to myself.
That means deciding what I did today is enough. It means logging off and letting myself have a life outside of the business.
Because if you’re always chasing more, you’ll never feel like you’re enough—or that your life is enough. (Do you need to read that again?)
The Bottom Line
Building a life and business you’re obsessed with isn’t about crossing some perfect finish line. It’s about how you show up while you’re building it.
It’s about letting yourself enjoy the process, take care of what you have, and release the need to constantly prove yourself through overworking. It’s about trusting that your version of success is valid, even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.
The most radical thing you can do is build a business and life on your terms. And let that be enough.